Okay but the first set of gifs is not a joke like that’s literally how it goes.
One of the girls at work won’t get in the guy’s car unless he agrees to let her take photos of him and his license plate to text to her mother. If he gets mad or makes a fuss she cancels the date and goes back inside.
Reblogging for that 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼
I’ve had someone take pics of me and my license plate on a first date before & I was okay with it. I’ve also had a friend allow me to view the tracking on her phone when she went to meet up with a guy the first time. This isn’t a joke at all & women have good reason to worry.
i have only ever met 2 people online, and made sure that we met up somewhere that was 1) public 2) close to my home.
After, I walked to the dollar store that was a couple shops down until I knew they were gone, before walking home.
Louis C.K. kind of nailed it. Men worry that their date won’t measure up to their aesthetic preferences. Women worry that they’re going wind up dead.
The disparity is RIDICULOUS, and the fact that dudes get offended when women try to protect themselves is hard proof that way too many guys Do Not Understand how dangerous it is to be a woman. (Not to mention it’s fucking insulting. “How dare you not trust your life and safety to a complete stranger whose intentions you have no way of knowing”?)
Lookin’ at the notes on this post following my earlier reblog and just
going….
Wow. WOW. Look at all these sheltered people and their internalized misogyny.
The point isn’t, “NOT ALL MEN ARE OUT TO GET YOU.”
The point is, “WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING A NICE GUY FROM A SERIAL KILLER.”
It’s
not like they fucking wear nametags, okay? Moreover, the most awful people with the worst intentions often put on the nicest face or deliberately make themselves seem harmless and likeable, to lull potential victims into a false sense of security. (Read up on Ted Bundy sometime. It’s horrifying shit. Or read any thread on the “Let’s Not Meet” subreddit.)
In order to protect ourselves, we are forced to assume the worst of every man we meet, because statistically speaking, the biggest danger to women…IS MEN. Saying “not all men are out to get you, you’re just being paranoid” is like saying “not every car you ride in is going to crash, so buckling your seatbealt is stupid.”
When dealing with an unknown situation, in the absence of absolute proof of safety, exercising a little extra caution can be the difference between life and death. Shaming women for being what you may view as overly cautious is every bit as horrid as blaming them if something goes wrong later on.
And refusing to go to a
secluded location with a complete stranger without letting someone know
where you’re going, who you’re with, and how to find you is just common street sense, whether you’re on a date or just going out for business or social purposes.
If your life has been so sheltered (or your coping skills so incredible) that you see no need to distrust strangers or worry about the potential for violence, you should thank your lucky stars.
And you should also be aware that just because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know does not mean that it doesn’t happen.
Lemme say that louder for the people in the back.
Just because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know does not mean that it doesn’t happen.
Re-Reblog for relevant commentary.
And if you won’t take a woman’s word for it because you are some kind of asshat, men who sleep with men also mirror these rituals because even men are afraid of other men based on men’s behavior and inability to understand “no” or take rejection well.
I’ll stop reblogging this when it stops being relevant
Alllll of this. Being paranoid will often save your life. Assholes who say otherwise need to shut their noise holes and stop acting like they know better.
PSA
If I ever get in a new guy’s car I ALWAYS take a pic of him, the vehicle, the plate #, and send it to numerous ppl.
Also, it’s story time! I’m pretty certain I saved my mom’s fucking LIFE by convincing her do this on a date with a fucking COP (which she thought was safer than going out with other men, but let me tell you, cops are the WORST partner abusers around, so pls be safe!!!!).
She had only talked with him online and they were gonna go for a drive somewhere remote for some reason and she wasn’t going to take any precautions at all. I, being a well seasoned internet dater, was terrified by this prospect and warned her about how cops are actually much more dangerous than civilians and that getting in his car and going somewhere remote was even more dangerous. SO, I told her the best thing to do is to take a pic of him, his plates, then send it to me, and make sure you do it all right in front of him SO HE SEES IT. I warned her too that as a cop he should KNOW how dangerous this date would be for her, so if he kicks up a fuss about it AT ALL I told her to run like the fucking wind.
So when she gets there, he is already in his fucking truck, doesn’t get out to greet her, so she takes the pics of his car, plates, and him and sends it to me and I thank her profusely. Then apparently she gets in his car, sees there’s a fucking BAT in the back, and doesn’t this fucker just kick up a damn fuss about her doing this. AND MY MOM DOESN’T GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!!!! OMFGWLJELWNLWEJFANMDS
So he starts the car and they drive away and she can already tell he’s a fucking creeper. At one point, he even tells her a truly sad story of his life and she reacts sadly and doesn’t this dickhead say “why aren’t you smiling?” as if that’s what women are FOR. She responds “You had just told me a very sad, personal story, smiling didn’t seem appropriate”, as if she’s just there for smile back at him and look pretty!!!!
She texts me throughout all of this, telling me she’s increasingly getting uncomfortable and scared. He’s becoming increasingly hostile and unpleasant. She eventually texts me to ask me to call her and pretend to be my younger sister that lives with her saying that I’m sick (my mom’s a nurse). But my younger sis is 26, has a baby, is a personal support worker with some medical knowledge; and that didn’t seem like something strong enough to me that would make this dangerous fucker give up my mom.
So what do I do?
I called her and pretended I was my little sister crying and freaking out because her baby is super sick and she needs her nurse mom at her side bc this is WAY beyond her knowledge or comfort level. Thankfully that worked and he turned around. But he wasn’t happy and that bat was still in the back, staring mom in the goddamn face.
Later she called me and thanked me profusely and she STILL talks about it and how scary it was and how she is CERTAIN the real reason he turned around was bc I had insisted she send me those pictures.
Everyone, please be safe, definitely definitely take precautions! But also know that if something bad ever has or does happen to you, it’s NEVER your fault, even if you “didn’t take the right precautions”. That victim blaming rape culture nonsense is bullshit.
Psa
There’s a principal in evolution – false positives cost less than false negatives.
If the bushes rustle and there’s no tiger there but you ran away because there might have been a tiger, you had to stop what you were doing and you lost a few calories running away.
If, even once, the bushes rustle and you don’t run away because it might not be a tiger, you’re lunch.
Some of my favourite moments from the day I spent at the library playing Snape for their Harry Potter event
•”The real Snape is taller than you!”
“Real Snape? Oh, you mean the muggle who played me in that film? His name was Alan. My name is not Alan, and I am sadly not 6’1”. Ten points from Gryffindor.”
•*to a little girl dressed as Hedwig complete with mask* “You’re that Potter brat’s owl, arent you? Hedwig, correct?”
“Yeah! You’re so mean to Harry! *pretends to peck at me my god she was adorable*
“See, I’d put you in detention for that, but regrettably you can’t put owls in detention. So I’ll put your mother in detention instead for raising such a disrespectful child.” *the mother cracked up at this*
•”Are you Professor Snape?”
“*long sigh* Regrettably.”
•I had a belt of potions bottles and a group of kids asked me what potions I had, so I actually gave an impromptu potions lesson. Some of the highlights included threatening to use Skele-Gro on a boy dressed as Harry who wouldn’t stop interrupting, and loudly complaining to their parents that I wouldn’t have had to waste time reteaching this lesson if their kids had paid attention the first time.
•Word got out that I actually had the dark mark on my arm so kids kept coming up to ask to see it. I made a big show of rolling my eyes and threatening them and then finally rolling up sleeve while flexing the tendons in my wrist to make the snake move. Made several kids scream. It was hilarious
•There were a couple teenagers in a group with a Luna and her friend dressed as her rabbit patronus. I had a lot of fun with them giving her a hard time:
-“Lovegood. I know that name. Why do I—ah, yes, your father.”
“He writes for the Quibbler!”
“Indeed he does. Penned an article claiming Hogwarts had a vampire teaching there. Can’t imagine to whom he was referring.” *cue biggest laugh of the evening*
-“Lovegood, if you melt on more pewter cauldron—“
“They had dark magic in them! All pewter cauldrons do!” (She was really good)
“…you’re telling me every pewter cauldron was made by a dark wizard? He must have been extraordinarily busy” *dry tone*
“Yes, and it explains why you’re the way you are. Spent too much time with pewter cauldrons”
“…why am I still talking to you, Lovegood?”
•”Why arent you at Hogwarts?”
“Have you been outside, child? It’s summer.”
•*parents who wanted photos* “Can we get our picture/their picture with you?”
“…*sigh* Fine. *dramatic eye roll* You do know I’m the villain for like six and three-fourths of seven books, right?” (They found this hilarious)
•The classic, “I love your costume/great costume!” comments followed up with “…What costume?”
•There was a sorting station I helped back up for a bit and I had way too much fun loudly groaning and complaining when kids were put into Gryffindor.
•One little girl was put into Slytherin so I introduced myself to her and her dad and was all “You’d better make me proud. Although honestly after 14 years my expectations aren’t very high so that should be relatively easy.” Went over her head but the dad lost it
•*two rowdy little boys nearly putting each other’s eyes out with fake wands and in general causing dangerous commotion* “No duelling in the halls. Twenty points each from both your houses, and a week’s detentions.” (They straightened up immediately. Was proud.)
•There was a station where kids could make Pygmy puffs out of cotton balls and glue and one kid made an all black one and proudly presented it to me with “I tried to make it look grumpy”
That is spot on and so wonderful! Share you Snapeing secrets…
Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Leave
“WHERE’S YOUR PUPPY! WE WANNA SEE YOUR PUPPY! DID YOU JUST HAVE THE ONE? DO YOU HAVE THEM WITH YOU? ARE THERE PHOTOS?”
I’m not a hundred percent positive but I’m pretty sure this is the wild life center where I visited wolves.
And the safety briefing included the question “So if you’re pregnant, do you want to know or not?”
Turns out there had been a bit of an awkward situation once where the keepers had casually mentioned a woman’s pregnancy in a group, and she herself didn’t even know yet. Turns out the wolves are excellent at telling if you’re pregnant and the keepers can tell based on their body language. They get all odd and careful around pregnancy. (Even wolves knows that you have to take care of pregnant people.)
So they definitely knew she was pregnant.
And if I remember my BBC documentaries right, a wolf will leave the pack to give birth and introduce the cubs to the pack once she feels ready for it. And maternity leave is flexible but often around 6 months so they’re going “YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE ARE THE CUBS?? WE HAVE TO GREET THE CUBS!!“
Also the two on her back are fighting over who gets to greet her first. Giving and receiving attention is a commodity that goes by hierarchy and if you don’t accept that there will be scuffles.. The wolf lying down next to her isn’t chill about her coming back, it’s just submissive to the other wolves and waiting for it’s turn to show excitement.
Now I can see why we domesticated these adorable jerks.
Stop asking little girls if they have boyfriends
Stop referring to the boys that little girls are friends with as their “little boyfriends”
Stop telling little girls they’re going to have boyfriends or be “boy crazy”
Stop raising children on heteronormativity and let them be children
Additionally: 1. It’s not funny 2. It’s not cute 3. You are embarrassing them 4. You are completely disregarding them when they tell you “no” and you insist
Stop doing the same to little boys too.
They are not “a little lady’s man.”
Don’t excuse him picking on a girl as him having a crush. Correct the behavior and stop treating it like it’s cute and normal.
Also stop insisting little boys have crushes on significantly older women. It’s gross.
Just let kids be kids.
I have never encountered a child who enjoyed this treatment.
Thousands of cartons of Vanilla Almond Breeze are under recall for containing undeclared milk. I don’t care what you think about vegans, nondairy milk, whatever…
This could kill people if word doesn’t get out fast enough.
Alabama, Arkansas, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Mississippi, Nebraska, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia and Wisconsin
Please share this. Dairy allergies can be fatal and many people with them choose to drink almond milk.
recall is dated august 2, this is current. pass it along for your lactose intolerant friendos.
Therapists aren’t people who you “pay to pretend to care about you”, therapists are people you pay to teach you how to care for yourself
Me: I am violently depressed.
Therapist: Oh! Sounds like you need to do YOGA! That will help!
Me: *signs up for yoga*
Me: *is violently depressed in Downward Dog*
Me: I hate myself and only see my flaws
Therapist: ok lets refocus on things you like about yourself. This week i want you to try and journal about good things you’ve for yourself and others.
Me: *does the homework* yeah but i still hate myself but feel bad cause i shouldn’t
Therapist: feeling like you shouldn’t hate yourself is a step in the right direction. Mental health is complex and isn’t something that will ~magically~ improve. We have a lot of hard work head of us but I’ll be here to help you.
TL;DR stop perpetuating the idea that therapy is unhelpful because the results are not instantaneous.
FUCKING THIS.
As a psychologist the amount of bullshit on this site, the amount of fucking dangerous bullshit on this site about how therapy is neurotypical bullshit and isn’t worth it and how exercise is pointless and good diet is pointless and that therapy homework is pointless DRIVES ME UP THE FUCKING WALL
Exercise is fucking important. good diet is fucking important therapy is fucking important. WHY???
because pills alone don’t help. they improve the hormonal imbalance (as does exercise and good diet which ALSO are a form of very real self care as your physical being is sorta connected to your mental one but go fucking figure right?), but guess what? the suicidal thoughts, the thoughts of harm, the thoughts of hating yourself, they’re still there. suicides actually increase when medicated. why? because suddenly you have the energy to fulfill thoughts of harming yourself. which is why you NEED therapy alongside pills.
it has taken you years, or decades to create your maladaptive thought processes and behaviours. that shit doesn’t disappear overnight. core beliefs don’t change overnight. these are the very fucking core of your personhood, your being and personality. THAT TAKES TIME TO CHANGE
STOP ACTING LIKE THERAPY IS SHIT IF IT DOESNT WORK IN TWO SESSIONS
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Frankenuff’s Castle 