Yes it’s a real service. I do volunteer work for a rape crisis support service in my city and texting is one of the features we provide as well. But just to boost its credibility, I tried it myself:
reblog to save lives!
You can also text “Steve” to 741741 if you’re a young person of color. The website for more info is stevefund.org
My understanding is that it’s more multicultural and some folks feel more comfy with that in mind!
^^^^^THIS
get help guys, please. if you’re hurting, don’t let that hurt consume you. seek help.
I never knew this. It’s spectacular.
((I’ve texted these guys a few times, they’re really great.))
As a dog trainer, I can tell you that probably 50% of dogs really don’t like hugs and at least another 48% pretty much just tolerate them. Very few dogs I know genuinely like hugs the way humans tend to give them. What’s funny is that the picture that Fox used with this headline is one of the more common ways dogs do enjoy contact that humans would consider a hug.
Stanley Coren – the dude who wrote the article that is pissing everyone off about this – really does know what he’s talking about. He wrote one o my favorite books, called how to speak dog, which has some absolutely beautiful diagrams of dog behavior and body language along the gamut of extreme situations.
The way humans hug dogs is often really uncomfortable for them. We lean over them and trap them (think how many dogs we already know are spooky when you loom over them, but are fine if you get down to their level), and then we restrict their ability to move and shove our faces close to theirs. That’s not fun. Keep in mind that most dogs have personal space bubbles that are larger than we tend to think, and now you’re not only invading it, you’re making it so they can’t move or defend themselves if something happens.
Look at this photo from a couple years ago. Avalanche is probably the most tolerant dog I know of things that press his physical boundaries – he lets little kids do things to him that make me cringe and doesn’t even seem to notice half the time. This was right before I had to head back to college and I knew I wouldn’t see him for another 6 months, so I hugged him because sappy human emotions. I have an amazing relationship with this dog, and look at his body language. He’s kinda stiff, his face is a little tense, and the corners of his mouth are pulled back a little. All in all, he’s supremely un-enthused but he’s letting me do it. After about five seconds, he huffed out the sigh he uses to let me know when he’s done with the hug, and then pulled back and shook off.
Most dogs learn to tolerate hugs because we do it to them so often. It’s pretty much a kind of learned helplessness, plus, they like us and so they put up with our stupid human behavior. When you hug most dogs, you’ll notice they get kinda stiff, they look away or at other humans for help, you’ll see side-eyes or look-aways (not whale eye). Often they’ll distract you by doing something else like pawing at you, or licking your face as an appeasement signal. They’re all signs of discomfort that we already routinely ignore when we deal with our dogs, so it makes sense that people think their dogs are fine with it – they’re just still not listening.
More often, you’ll get dogs that will crawl up your chest when you sit and put their paws on your shoulders. Sometimes their face is close to yours, sometimes it’s on your shoulder. In that position – which they often initiate – they ca easily withdraw and get away if necessary and they’re not trapped or being leaned over. It’s not really a hug, just close contact, but I think it’s about as close as humans are going to get to one that a dog will enjoy.
This is why it’s so important not to anthropomorphize your pets and actually take the time to learn THEIR body language and natural behaviors.
And if y’all take the time to learn this, you’ll find most dogs have their own ways of showing affection that are equivalent to hugs. My dog doesn’t like to be held tight but she does come up beside you and press her head against your body and lean against you and that’s basically her version of a hug. She’s nervous and doesn’t like to be forced into any interaction but she will sometimes come and snuggle her head in my lap just because she wants to. And if you force interactions and hugs and cuddling with your pet, you’ll miss out on those particular shows of affection that they offer on their own which are way way more special than a forced hug.
Yes, this.
I don’t have much experience with dogs, because I’ve never lived with one, but with cats? Obviously, hugging like the above doesn’t work, but a lot of cats are partial to being carried. Thing is, you have to be very attuned to their communication to tell when they’re comfortable and when they’re not.
My lovable orange floofball, Butterfinger, likes it when I carry him cradled like a baby — he’ll purr up a storm when I do it — but doesn’t like being carried any other way. He is very emphatically not a lap cat, but if I’m sitting in my big comfy chair he’ll come around and nuzzle me before catloafing on the arm of the chair. When I’m asleep, I always sleep on my side, so he’ll come and lie down on top of my flank, and often doze off himself. He follows me around the apartment, but in a sort of holistic sense: he tries to always be in the same room as me, and will often catloaf or doze off within arm’s reach of me, if not snuggled up against me (such as if I’m reading or playing with my phone or 3DS in bed).
❤ Cherish your pets but don’t make them feel scared or unsafe ❤
I’ve lived my whole life almost constantly surrounded by dozens of rescue animals, so I had a visceral reaction to the news story like “WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT THEY LOVE HUGS?” but as I read the comments I realized that the news story and I were defining “hug” differently. It’s so natural to me to work out how an individual animal likes contact and work with that, that I forget that to many people “hugging” an animal is literally just grabbing and squishing them.
The amount of times I’ve got an animal from an adoption place and been told “They hate being picked up”, “They’re not very loving”, “They don’t do hugs”, only for some inexperienced staff member to scoop them up by the stomach and go “See?” as they squirm. A few minutes later, I’m holding the same animal, who’s completely calm and practically falling asleep, because I took the five extra seconds to support their legs before I lifted them, or let them sniff my hand for a bit before I stroked them, or lay on the floor with them and waited for a bit before I nuzzled up to them.
For most animals, laying next to them and running your hands through their fur is a “hug”, some animals will adapt to your preferences a bit when they’re comfortable with you and let you express affection in your way as well as theirs, some have strict boundaries that you just have to get used to. Like, you wouldn’t go up to a stranger and just wrap your arms around them – you get to know people and learn their boundaries, and you should do the same for your pets, other people’s pets, and so on.
Happy Friday the 13th. Here are some unlucky spooks from patreon.
The things in the shadows are not immune from tripping on the curb of the universe.
The ancient tome fell into the wrong hands almost immediately after the death of its keeper. The young men tasked with boxing up the belongings in the darkened apartment pocketed many small things that the family didn’t specifically put on the list, but the ivory box was the greatest find. It whispered to them in their dreams and they woke every morning electrified, shivering with the half remembered visions of the dark god whose door they had found. They only had to conduct the ceremony to the tome’s precise instructions to summon their master. And then. Power.
Power eternal.
As soon as they figured out what that plant was.
They’d been stumped by it for months. Tony said that maybe since the tome was hand written in like, fuck-knows B.C. the plant was straight up extinct. Everybody yelled at him for it, but he knew in his heart he was right. And if it wasn’t extinct, they certainly didn’t have the right name for it. There’s only so much heavy lifting an old biology book and a bargain bin Latin dictionary could do. God, Latin was hard. Some of it didn’t even seem to be Latin? There were some ‘ye oldes’ in there? And they were positive most of it had to be ancient slang because Google was turning up some weird results (when it actually turned up results).
Also, they definitely weren’t grinding up the right kind of bones to make the chalk. These bones sucked. These bones were screwing up the whole operation.
They tried to ask the god about maybe accepting substitutions for what they sussed out was dodo blood and proper conversions for modern measurements but it just gave them more spiritual visions that were grand as ever but somehow felt a little embarrassed. Tony said that it might not even understand English and got yelled at again.
Except no that’s not what happened, that’s not why he sued, he sued because when he went to ask for more napkins, the staff started racially harassing him, all over fucking napkins. As for the amount, ut was probably exaggerated by the lawyer so when the court shrinks it, McDonalds would still have to pay at least something.
There are no such things as frivolous lawsuits made by individual people.
McDonald’s (and most businesses) have insanely good pr departments. The woman who sued McDonald’s for being burned by their coffee was turned into the face of “people will sue over anything” because suing over coffee being hot sounds ridiculous, right? Except for she was literally burned to the bone. The pictures are nauseating. What she went through was horrifying.
If you ever find yourself ridiculing an individual on a company’s behalf you’re probably just repeating pr propaganda
READ IT and remember next time someone talks about some “ridiculous” lawsuit that’s just a sign of how supposedly easy it is for individuals to make bucks off suing poor, helpless huge corporations for oh, no good reason at all.
Who wants you to believe that? Who benefits?
Yeah.
more ppl need to watch the documentary “hot coffee”
FINALLY. A POST THAT SAYS IT. Ridiculous lawsuits are not real! It’s SO HARD to escalate in court! It is SO HARD. Think about it!
Yeah ok I feel the need to elaborate on this as an actual lawyer.
CIVIL SUITS ARE VERY EXPENSIVE. Especially if you’re going against a huge Corp. and they can take forever to settle.
You ever seen the movie “a civil action”? There’s this scene like two thirds into the movie where one of the lawyers is at the grocery store and whips out a key chain of credit cards because he’s literally living on credit lines.
Here’s the thing: most personal injury lawyers work on commission. So you might have like an escrow account for expenses but for pro bono cases (which s lot of these high profile cases are, honestly), you don’t have any real significant cash up front to deal with expenses.
BUT HEY LSS, what do you mean by expenses?
Ok so like the first thing you need to realize is that most law suits have stages. There’s some variations in timelines for civil versus criminal cases.
But mostly, civil cases have stages that go like: 1) Filing 2) Discovery 3) Trial 4)concluding the trial and getting your damn ruling.
Filing is just “hey just so you know I’M SUING YOUR ASS.” and you have like a certain amount of time to respond and say something like “right I am entering in my appearance in this case” which is often followed by a “and also I’m suing you for suing me.” Divorce cases are a great example of that–most divorces start with one person filing for divorce and claiming the other person is at fault (it’s quicker than a no-fault divorce), and that’s almost always followed up with the other person getting served and then saying “nope you’re wrong tho.” At this stage, btw, you can always file a motion to throw the case out, like an instant dismissal over a frivolous law suit. Ex: I think that at one point I had to read a case where some lady tried to sue like…god or something? THere are tons of examples of this. YOu can file anything you want. That doesn’t mean the court is gonna hear about it.
ANyways.
DISCOVERY THO.
DISCOVERY IS A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH AND PART OF THE REASON WHY I LOVE WORKING CINA (Child in need of assistance–think foster care) CASES IS WE HAVE RELAXED DISCOVERY THANK MOTHERFUCKING GOD.
Discovery is basically the thing NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT OR SHOWS IN TV. It’s when you exchange information with each other, and you take things like depositions and you answer interrogatories etc. Basically, if you need certain evidence for your case, the other side has to hand it over (there’s a ton of rules and that’s a gross simplification. But basically, that’s what it means). So if you’re suing a hospital or McDonalds, you need to get access to the hospital records, or in this case, McDonald’s policy and possibly camera footage from the store.
Discovery has different rules for civil and criminal, but there’s all sorts of deadlines about “thirty days after receiving this request for records you have to respond or ask an extension etc.”
In the case of these huge cases that involve medical records, or accusations of racial profiling, it gets to be a bitch because RECORDS NEED TO BE CERTIFIED AND YOU NEED TO SPECIFICALLY TAILOR YOUR REQUESTS FOR CERTAIN EVIDENCE.
for medical records: certified means that they’ve been approved and stamped and reproduced with certain seals and personnel signing off to prove that they are accurate. You can’t just come in with a print out of your tests and pictures of your injuries. You need to VERIFY THAT SHIT. That’s to get around hearsay rules (since like, technically, a medical record produced by some orderly at the hospital is hearsay if the orderly isn’t there in court). And you have to tailor that shit to your request because the other side can say “wow that’s too general and we don’t want to expend the resources for it” and the judge can be like “yeah that’s fair.” Discovery hearings are fucking petty, dude. THe other side of this is that the hospital can provide you with like, reams and reams of records knowing that there’s no way you’re gonna be able to go through all of it, especially since you don’t have a fucking building filled with corporate lawyer lackeys. Unless I guess maybe you’re the ACLU?
or for say, security camera footage, you have to specifically tailor your request to the day in question, the specific footage, the time, the amount of footage, and there’s all sorts of issues about confidentiality and permissions etc. In fact, most security cam footage doesn’t have sound because of like…privacy laws.
Anyways, then you’ve got interrogatories which are like pre-trial questions that you answer to the best of your ability. It’s not under oath and it’s by writing. But of course, there’s a limit to your interrogatory questions (as in how many you can ask), what you can ask (it can’t be too general–like you can’t ask “describe any racial-based incidents that happened in McDonalds in the past five years” because wtf what does that have to do with this particular case? something…but not enough of something), and how quickly you can expect them to respond. And then there are hearings on the interrogatories–like if somebody doesn’t want to answer questions or thinks it’s too general etc. So then you have to schedule THOSE hearings and give notice of it to the other party and make sure they have been served properly so they can attend and prepare.
Then there are depositions, which are recorded interviews that occur under oath and are attended by both parties and counsel. These are a bitch to schedule and there’s all sorts of issues with them because like while you might be able to enter in the whole thing into evidence, other parties LOVE using these to pick and choose shit to impeach witnesses at trial. (ex: remember when Kesha got screwed over because at deposition she had to answer “no” to a specific question but we all know that probably she had a lot more to say? like that).
AAAAAAANYWAYS. At any point in time, there can be settlement negotiations as well. And quite frankly, because most people don’t have the time and energy to keep up with a corporate building full of lawyers, most people try to settle ASAP because damn, all this time in court, all these specific requests, filing fees, printing fees, records fees, deposition personnel with recording equipment, all of it is MONEY MONEY MONEY. and a hell of a lot of time. We’re talking years and years here. (no seriously–anyone who knows about divorces can attest to this. in MD we are authorized to make custody decisions for children who are declared CINA or non-CINA and it’s considered expedited because it can take as little as 30 days. ONE MONTH IS VERY VERY FAST, Y’ALL).
So meanwhile you’re dealing with all of these requests and answers and motions and court time and filing fees and it’s all piling up. ANd then there’s an offer to settle.
Why settle? Why sign these stupid confidentiality clauses? Because it’s your best bet at succeeding. Good corporate lawyers can drag out discovery for like…a decade. Maybe more. in the mean time, you’re a lawyer working on commission so you haven’t seen a pay out. And the client themselves, they’ve got to carry on with their lives and pay for shit in the meantime. Which can be tough if you’re literally suing your employer, your doctors, or mcdonalds (because like…you’ve got to constantly be appearing in court and taking time off and dealing with harassment etc.).
So then you get this offer to settle. Which means a LOT of money probably (each big company has like a huge fund for this type of thing), maybe even changing their policies for good (the hot coffee lady got mcdonalds to stop making their damn coffee so hot it melted styrofoam and like…human skin). And it’s QUICKER. So say you’re suing say, a hospital for being a shit hospital. Meanwhile, people are dying in the hospital and you need medical treatment. What do you do? Settle, take the money, and get them to sign a legally binding agreement not to do that shit again.
Unfortunately, because this is negotiations, and settlements are compromises, that may mean you’re not allowed to tell anyone about it and thus they can spin it for themselves. McDonalds got David Letterman to make fun of the hot coffee chick. How? They didn’t sign a non-disclosure. THey have billions and billions of dollars invested in PR and spinning their image. You don’t want them to sign a non-disclosure because that means then they can’t talk about the GOOD shit–like, for example, making it public that HEY OUR COFFEE DOESN’T MELT SKIN ANYMORE AND THAT’S A GOOD THING EVERYBODY SHOULD DO THAT.
So basically…think about it logically. Why would McDonalds agree to settle over a fucking napkin? Because there’s clearly more to the story. Because if it wasn’t instantly thrown out, there had to be SOME MERITS TO IT. And also, hey, corporations have tons of money to pour into their legal and PR departments.
Just had a thought for an action hero thing: 30-something woman hero is doing her ass-kicking thing. One day, her boss shows up at her door, and tells her she has to stand down, or there will be consequences. “Honey, it’s not that you’re too old. It’s just the public don’t like to see a woman of your age saving the day. It feels emasculating”.
So woman is stripped of her support team, fellow agents, and is pretty much put on the shelf. She tries to do heroing, but keeps getting cockblocked by younger women or superhero men she used to work alongside.
Just when she’s hitting rock bottom (and sitting in her house wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream), there’s a knock at the door. Judi Dench is standing there, and our heroine assumes it’s a charity collection.
“Oh no, dear,” Dench says, smiling. “We’ve come to recruit you.”
“Recruit me? For what?”
“To do what we do best: save the bloody world.”
And all at once she’s part of a covert ops team made of all the older women who have been retired and who currently are holding the reins of managing the world.
Of course, a few older women heroes and vigilantes don’t take the offer. Some are too embittered by the rejection they’ve faced and decide to show the world exactly why they’re still to be feared.
Enter Judi Dench’s arch-nemesis, Dame Helen Mirren.
I’m not from the UK but it might be interesting for some of you folks !
– Mod Leo
This needs 100,000 signatures by July 17th.
Not in the UK but sharing for people who are!
^^
Just signed this! Anyone else who can, please do so as well!
@thebibliosphere I know you’re not in the UK any longer, but I thought you might be interested in helping spread this (unless you’ve already reblogged in which case I haven’t seen your reblog yet so don’t mind me).
Not living there perhaps, but still very much a citizen, and wish my home country to be better than what it is ❤
For yall in the UK!!!
Hey! Petitions can be great, but since the government is already considering this it’s kinda pointless in this case! It’s much more helpful for you to respond to the consultation on the Gender Recognition Act and tell the government ALL the changes they should make for trans people in the UK, including recognising non-binary identities!
Stonewall also have a quick run-down on that page on what the most important questions are and what answers best support trans people! if ur in the UK pls go fill this out (tagging @thebibliosphere again since u were so nice and reblogged it last time)
Thank you for that piece of information! Happy to boost again.
california anti-drought measures are always like “take shorter showers! consider brushing your teeth with the sink turned off” and never mention the fact that nestle is bottling all of our fucking water and selling it to people who live in areas with plenty of water
It’s like the Irish potato “famine” I stg
In California, residential use only accounts for 4% of total water use. Industrial use is 80%.
This is true of any resource. Yes turning your lights off will save you a but of money. But industry wastes far more electricity than you. Yes recycling your garbage is good. But companies, like the retail chain i work at produce far more garbage than you ever could and do not recycle it at all.
Turning natural resource and environmental crises into individual responsibility is form of class warfare so fucking insidious
Honestly just burn every company to the ground or cut them off from electricity and water systems
Tax them heavily for their usage Make recycling mandatory or theyre fined Oh im sorry am i stepping all over your precious free market I hope to choke it out
Word
“Part of the problem is that we’ve been victims of a campaign of systematic misdirection. Consumer culture and the capitalist mindset have taught us to substitute acts of personal consumption (or enlightenment) for organized political resistance. An Inconvenient Truth helped raise consciousness about global warming. But did you notice that all of the solutions presented had to do with personal consumption—changing light bulbs, inflating tires, driving half as much—and had nothing to do with shifting power away from corporations, or stopping the growth economy that is destroying the planet?
Or let’s talk water. We so often hear that the world is running out of water. People are dying from lack of water. Rivers are dewatered from lack of water. Because of this we need to take shorter showers. See the disconnect? Because I take showers, I’m responsible for drawing down aquifers? Well, no. More than 90 percent of the water used by humans is used by agriculture and industry. The remaining 10 percent is split between municipalities and actual living breathing individual humans….People (both human people and fish people) aren’t dying because the world is running out of water. They’re dying because the water is being stolen.” – Derrick Jensen (author & environmentalist)
Frankenuff’s Castle 