thebibliosphere:

splinteredstar:

thebibliosphere:

One of the things that really gets to me on any of my positivity posts that get vaguely popular, is the sheer number of people deriding it for false optimism and wishy washy sentiment.

Simple statements like “hang in there, it gets better” are met with comments like “does it though, does it really” and things like “yea maybe if you’re neurotypical”, and here’s the thing: yes the fuck it does, and I’m sorry that you can’t see that right now, but please don’t assume that just because I’m not drowning in active nihilism, doesn’t mean I’m not struggling.

I’m not spouting false platitudes. I’m not trying to undermine your depression. What I am doing is trying to circumvent my own depression and suicidal thoughts by not giving them a foothold.

You don’t know this, but my own internal soundtrack is pretty bleak. The words “I want to die” float across my brain pretty often. It’s not even a conscious thought, it’s just there, like background noise in a cacophony of all the other shit that’d tear me apart if I’d let it.

I’m a chronically ill being with mental health issues, a worsening pain disorder and a history of childhood trauma.

So yes, I do understand what you’re feeling in context. I understand the maw of bleakness where life ought to be.

But I also understand that in order to get better you have to challenge it.

I don’t make jokes about suicide. I don’t jokingly say things like “I want to die”, because it is a slippery slope towards validating what my illness wants me to believe. So I take steps, not to avoid it because I cant avoid it, but to adjust my way of thinking.

And I do this, by telling myself out loud over and over, that it gets better. One day at a time, every day I’m still alive is a good day.

And fuck you for trying to take that from me. Hope is a survival mechanism. It keeps us going when there’s nothing else left. And sometimes we have to create our own.

Get help. I’m serious. Get the help you need and deserve, because that desire to convince others the world is dark and awful? It’s not healthy. And it’s not the only way life has to be.

You deserve to get better. Start telling yourself that. Every day for the rest of your life if you have to. And if you can’t tell yourself that right now, I’m here to do it for you.

You deserve better. And I hope one day you’ll see that.

I mean, for me, what’s important is – acknowledging the feelings that I have, not the ones I feel like I’m supposed to have? Like. I grew up in the “if you’re not happy all of the time then you’re disappointing God” area of things. And sometimes the positivity (not yours, joy, but ya know) can feel that way – that you’re letting yourself down. So I’m in pain and now its my own fault for not smiling? And all.

So for me it’s necessary and healthy to say “yes I feel like shit today, yes my brain is full of angry weasels, yes i want to die sometimes.” And for that to not be a moral failing, ya know?

And then I look at the emotion, admit it, and sort of go “that is not a helpful response, so here’s what we’re going to do instead.” I basically pull a nick fury on them – “I acknowledge that my brain has made a decision, but…..”

Idk bibliomum, maybe that’s what you were getting at.

What you’re describing isn’t despair or nihilism, nor is it negative. It’s acknowledging your emotions and working through them.

It’s a profoundly important part of recovery.

What is not part of recovery is stopping short at “I want to die” which is what so many fucking people post on my posts.

Someone this morning literally left the message “cool story OP but I still want to die” Yea? Well guess what, me too. But I acknowledge it’s not a healthy thought and I make steps to work through my shit, instead of attempting to undermine the recovery of others. And tumblr has such a toxic mentality towards recovery. It’s almost like if you dare to get better, you weren’t sick to begin with, and that is adamantly not true.

Recovering from mental health issues is hard, ugly work that requires active participation and regular intervention to keep going. But it is possible, and it’s important to remember that what looks like recovery for some is still illness to others, but you take what you can. I will likely never not be depressed. I will likely always have that part of my brain that wants me to jump. But I can learn to better live with it so it doesn’t win. And live is the key word there.

wigglebox:

thisisnotacatblog:

marissarei:

itcomesbetweenus:

marissarei:

Coconuts have only been in the Caribbean for 500 years. They just….floated on over from Asia and took root. That’s…hilarious.

Wait really? I always thought they were if not native at least brought over on purpose

Right??? I’m watching this nature doc and when the narrator said that I nearly spit my drink giggling. They’re remarkably buoyant and just bob their way to a new shore. So carefree. Truly a fruit destined to be in the Caribbean.

are you suggesting coconuts migrate

Not at all. They could be carried.

African or European?

mostlysignssomeportents:

Burning Man message boards have been on fire all week as people report
being stopped on flimsy pretenses by federal Bureau of Indian Affairs
officers in the tiny town of Nixon, one of the last stops on the narrow,
quiet rural roads that 60-80,000 people use to access the Black Rock
Desert, home to the Burning Man festival, which opens to the public this
coming Sunday.

The officers pull cars over on flimsy and even manufactured pretenses,
such as “dim license plate lights,” and then ask to conduct a search. If
drivers refuse, K9 dogs are brought to the site and made to “alert” on
the cars, giving officers a pretense to conduct a search.

Attendees report delays of hours, along with unprofessional and
intimidating conduct by the federal officers. Locals, including
indigenous people, report being caught up in the BIA’s dragnet and
subjected to long delays and dehumanizing and illegal searches. The BIA
has apparently entered into a Memo of Understanding with local tribal
leadership to set up the checkpoints.

The Burning Man Organization has advised attendees to make a video
record of their cars’ working lights and signals and unobstructed
license plates, and to record their drive on route 447, and to use the
ACLU’s Mobile Justice
app to record interactions with law enforcement (Nevada is a one-party
consent state and drivers do not need to notify officers that they are
recording).

If you ordered to stop recording police interactions, the Burning Man
Organization advises politely refusing while citing Fordyce v. Seattle,
which affirms your First Amendment right to film and record public
officials engaged in official business.

If you are stopped by law enforcement, please fill in a Burning Man Law Enforcement Feedback Form> If you are arrested, Lawyers for Burners may be able to help you locate and retain an attorney.

Observe posted speed limits at all times. Do not be in possession of any
illegal substances (marijuana is legal in Nevada, but not on federal
lands; do not carry marijuana or its derivatives). Be polite and
respectful with law enforcement. Support local businesses and indigenous
communities. Keep cool.

See you there.

https://boingboing.net/2018/08/22/mobile-justice.html